I'm an agent of Chaos

I realized today that I love chaos. The chaos of life. The jumbled disorganization of a messy desk, the contents of your pockets at the end of the day. Anything.
I don't know. Just something about it catches my eye.

Yes, I know, I'm strange.

Saturday...mmph.

LFG, for those of you who care: 246
Cyanide and Happiness: 1636
Strike Gently has a Straylight Run discography, as well as tour dates.
Music Is What We Aim For has The Audition's Self-Titled Album, which officially releases in two days.

That's everything fun and exciting, as far as I know.
I'm going to go kill another Saturday. Leave it to me.


I'd swear we were born to let you down,
We scream but never make a sound.

What you really wanted to see...

Cyanide and Happiness: 1632
Strike Gently has nothing.
Looking For Group doesn't update until tomorrow. The link is for any of you who still have no fucking clue what LFG is, or those of you who haven't been to my chaotic blog before. 'Cause...
I'm an agent of Chaos.
Mmph.

OH! I never told you...
I got a Twitter. And a Tumblr.
Why? Not a fucking clue. But if you're ever visiting, hit me up kids.

I officially have four followers now. That's about... four more than I ever planned on having. Go figure.

On the more serious side, Rob has a new post up, so check it out...
Cain's Dogma
This is actually something that's really important to Rob and myself (the topic, that is): Homosexuality and what the Bible says about it.
Mind you, I'm a little sketchy on the religious aspect of my life right now, but I didn't join Characters Unite for nothing. Equality, kids; equality.

So, that's everything for the rest of today.
I'm off to play some RO.
If you're on the free server, hit me up:
Prosperina


Take a step back, baby,
take a deep breath.
You're about to say
something that you'll regret.
For once in your life
try to think it through.

I never thought

I would see the day when I actually found something interesting in American History. It would be a Wednesday.
Today I'm devoting myself to my History class (potential death), and this particular lesson pertains to Modernism and the 1920's.
Flappers.
So being my simply amused self, I meandered over to Ask for some pictures of these lovely ladies.

Somehow the fact that these drawings portray these women to have a rectangular shape doesn't bother me...yet.



I understand that this was a big step in getting where we are in fashion today, but I fail to see how this particular clothing is provocative. But I'm a naive High School kid, what do I know?


Somehow this last one reminds me of Drew Barrymore. I don't understand it either.

The good stuff comes later...
When I'm not educating myself.

Here we go...

I just wanted
to share this picture
by Blasius Erlinger
With you.

I'm alive, pinky swear.

For those of you who recall from last week, Sunday means PostSecret.

Monday means The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.
It also means LFG: 244 (I don't know if I posted this one yet), 245.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1629

I guess that's it. I should reeeally get some work done.

Adios!


When everything you've ever loved has left you,
I'll be there, I'll be there for you.

So far, So good.

I'm doing better. =] Yay!

New Leak Site: Music Is What We Aim For v2

Cyanide and Happiness: 1624

I guess that's about it...




Sometimes I feel like
I'm still dreaming.
Seems like every day
you're always on my mind.
This is how we stay
so connected, so connected
over space and time.

Okayish....

I wonder what the weather is up to. My wrist hurts, and that generally means something.
Today seems a little better. I officially broke down and sobbed my little heart out yesterday, so I think I'm okay now.
Maybe I'll actually accomplish something today.

I can't remember what else I was going to write about. >.<
Definitely have racing thoughts today.

Cyanide and Happiness (good one today.): 1621
Looking For Group (kickass): 243

That's it. Sad day.



You said there's tons of fish in the water,
so the waters I will test.

If I could tell you how unstable I feel right now...

Happy Easter, I guess.
Today isn't really a good day for me. Not only was I left with 4 hours of sleep last night, I'm also PMSing (valuable information) and rapid cycling, and despite what Wikipedia says, my psychiatrist says it can shift, or cycle, much more frequently. Please kill me.
I'm actually afraid that all of these hormones and mood swings are going to shove me over the edge, to the degree of being suicidal. What to do...
I just woke up from a three hour nap, so hopefully the extra sleep will help. And mom will be keeping a close eye on me, I'm sure.

Today is PostSecret day.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1622
Cain's Dogma: Calvariae Locus

I think that's everything. I hope your Easter is far better than mine.


I can't go on,
deflate the air from both of my lungs.
I'll be gone,
long before daylight shows its face.
It's old and worn,
and its mouth smiles no more.
Well, I'm worth my weight in potting soil,
maybe I tried to hard to care.

Welcome to Saturday...

I have decided today to do absolutely nothing. Shweet.
I'll probably sit around and mess with Bloodlines on Facebook, and peruse a few blogs, maybe watch some MASH. The possibilities are endless. My parents are going out tonight, which leaves me accountable to myself.

But enough about me. What are you doing today? How are you, really?

Cyanide and Happiness: 1619
It pains me to say that that is basically the only good thing online today. Pfft.

Have a good one.


I used to be your all the time,
but now I'm sleeping through the days.
My friends try to cheer me up,
they say I'm going through a faze,
I hope they're right.
I can't stand these days of nights.

And I won't live another day
if I'm not waking up next to you.
And I can't seem to find a way
to wake up without you,
without you.

Tales of a Friday Adventure...

Today I had the pleasure of meeting my new psychiatrist, Dr. Mata. She's a kind, older woman with a cluttered but quaint little office. It was quaint to the degree of me almost whipping out my phone and taking some pictures, but I didn't know that she would appreciate that.
In short, she decided that I have a hyperactive thyroid or something, and that I am bipolar. All in all, until my thyroid starts doing what it needs to and I start sleeping like I should, nothing is really going to level out the bipolar.
I have to do this test, which means get to pee in a cup, put some in a tube, freeze it, and send it to Wisconsin for about $182. It seems a little bit ridiculous, but whatever. I think that's supposed to test for whether or not I actually have ADD, which we currently doubt.
And then I get to take this medication for my thyroid. Woo.

That was thrilling and all, but let's move on.


Cyanide and Happiness: 1620
A Softer World: 424
Strike Gently has a Mewithoutyou discography as well as a The Format discography, and the latest episode of The Office, and 30 Rock.


The concrete calls my name again.
I'm falling;
through the cracks, I slip.

It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Thursday is a terrible day. It means tomorrow is Friday. I don't like Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. My parents will be home all weekend. Save me. And they took tomorrow off. God only knows why. Generally Thursdays also mean I get to go to counseling. Not that therapy is helping me any, but it makes my parents and doctors feel better. So what the hell, why not.
No counseling tonight.
I've been sitting here trying to do the same assignment for about two hours now. Something tells me today is not going to be successful.

OHOHOHOH! There's a new episode of Fringe out. I'm obsessed. You don't even know.

Lets meander on, shall we?
Cyanide and Happiness: 1618
Looking For Group (this one is really fucking boring. Fail): 242
Strike Gently has a The Academy Is... discography.

And I think that's all I've got for today.



I found out what I've been missing,
You are enough to keep me
Wondering through nights that I've spent
Alone, alone.

Ohhh, What To Do.

I should probably go work on my school shit. The down side of being home schooled is that there is never an escape. Work just becomes this big black shadow that follows you around all night. Public/Private school always had an escape. Go home, leave it all at school, problem solved. Nuh uh; not anymore.
Not to mention that my parents are far enough up my ass about catching up that I should probably mail them a map just so they can make it out alive.

On a happier note...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1617
A Softer World: 423

That is, unfortunately, all I have for now. Except this picture:




That's when she said
"I don't hate you boy,
I just wanna save you
while there's still something left to save."

I miss my munchkin....

Have I ever told you that I have a nephew? His name is Bobby, and he is three months old. He's adorable.
See?


Cyanide and Happiness: 1616
Strike Gently has Jimmy Eat World's Clarity Live album up, thank god.

I'm pretty sure that's everything.

I fall asleep with my friends around me,
the only place I know I feel safe.
I'm gonna call this "home".

Monday is the best day of my life...

Here's the special stuff for Mondaysss...
8-8:30 PM EST: The Big Bang Theory. Don't roll your eyes and disregard this. It's one of the most hilarious shows in the history of ever.
8:30-9 PM EST: How I Met Your Mother. If you haven't heard of this, you need to watch it and live happily ever after.

Onto the usual...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1615
Looking For Group: 241
A Softer World: 422

That's everything.

So here's my good bye,
no one will cry over me;
I'm not worth any tears.

It's Sunday, and that can only mean one thing...

PostSecret, of course. =]

There are three reasons I get out of bed on a Sunday:

1. I have to pee.
2. my parents force me into the car so we can go to church.
3. PostSecret

Today I got up because my parents left, and I get to do whatever I please.
First of all, I would like to address the new donut at DD. It's berries & cream or something. Basically, it's a Boston Creme donut with this weird pink berry stuff on top. Don't waste your money.

And yesterday I took some pictures down in town. Some of the buildings look particularly ancient, and they made a decent picture. So...



















This brings me to my final question:
Have cigarettes always been ridiculously expensive?


Oh, and happy (maybe) Palm Sunday.

Jiverly Wong

Jiverly Wong was the shooter in Binghamton yesterday. He was 42 years old.
I hope you finally find peace, Jiverly. RIP.
My condolences to the families of victims as well. RIP.

Anyway...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1613
The latest strip from A Softer World.
An update on Raisin' Cain.

I think that's everything for right now...


Maybe what we think is most important in life, is not really important at all.

All Dressed Up, And Nowhere To Go....

So I hear it's Friday. My parents are going out, my friends probably have great plans. Me? I'm not doing jack.

Okay, so, here's what I have for your pickings...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1612
Looking For Group: 240

Being a teen, weekend plans are relatively important, no? Generally, the only time to have a relaxing weekend and look good about it is after a drama filled week or having many busy weekends before and after. I have no such luck. Upon attempting to liven things up a bit with suggestions from Wikihow (the instructor of my life), I found... nothing. Except How To Enjoy A Relaxing Weekend. Which doesn't really apply. Hope it helps someone else out.

Which leads me to the list.
This is my attempt at making it look as though you're doing something on the weekends, when you're not. Call me deceptive.
Do some hardcore school/work work (that was repetitive), because that means less work later...sometimes.

• Clean the house like a maniac.
• Pamper.
• Read.

• Write. Doodle. Something.

The entire point of this list is to provide something for one to amuse oneself with, and kill some time. At least pretend to enjoy the monotony.
And if all else fails, blog about it. Because it's fun to think some stranger actually gives a shit. Woo!

On an entirely different, and particularly depressing note: a man walked into the American Civic Association in Binghamton, NY (I assume a few miles from a school I previously attended) with a gun. He killed 13 people, including himself. I also found out that someone in my school district had talked about bringing a gun to school and killing people. Mind you, I am home schooled, so this isn't quite as nerve wracking for me as it would be if I were actually attending the school. But anyway, my first reaction to things like this are this subtle urge to burst into tears for the shooters. Yeah, I know, right? It's weird. But in some way, I think I relate to them...more than I would like to. I'm relatively certain this is just one more reason I want to major in Psychology: I get people. I've been there. I've wanted to do crazy things on impulse, which would have ended terribly for myself and the people surrounding me.
I realize that there are dead people who were Innocent and all, but I literally ache when I think about the shooters. I guess someone has to care about the bad guys, right?

What are we coming to?

Once again, I want to mention an organization I've fallen madly in love with: To Write Love On Her Arms.
There's a big story that I've got linked from another post, and no one reads this anyway, so I won't throw it out there again. I bring to your attention, dear void, that there's a lot of pain in this ridiculous world. I could go on forever. I think the reason I hurt for the shooters, bad dudes, etc., is because there's a degree of pain visible. And I've experienced and seen that pain before.

If you or anyone you know is talking/thinking about suicide, please call immediately:
1800-SUICIDE (toll free)
OR
1800-TALK
If you or someone you know deals with self-injury, please call:
1800-DONTCUT

Good luck out there.

My Kingdom For A Remedy...

Within the past 48 hours, I have been struck by the common cold. Kill me now. This leads me to wonder why a cure has not been found. People get colds all the time, and we still can't do jack about it. Go figure.
So, upon diagnosing myself with a sore throat, I began my search for a remedy. Here's what I came across...
How To Make A Simple Remedy For Sore Throat
Which didn't work for me at all.
Neither did gargling salt water.
Throat/Cough drops seem pretty useless too.
Oh, and drinking straight up lime/lemon juice is such an atrocious idea. I don't suggest it. Because if anything, it just made me want to vomit.

Here's the part where I throw together my own remedy, using what I've found most effective and easy to obtain.

• Sleep
• Mint tea with honey (amongst other warm beverages)
• Avoid cold beverages
• A 24 hour cold/allergy pill.
• Tylenol (makes life a little more bearable and helps with any fever)
• Tissues
• Lots of people to complain to.
• Chicken Noodle soup...

See, I tried other soups because I greatly dislike canned chicken noodle soup and I lack the stamina to make home made chicken noodle soup. I wound up trying Veggie Beef soup...Which was a mistake. Muy painful. But today I determined that if one is sick enough, canned chicken noodle soup tastes fine.

Moving on...
Strike Gently has a Creed discography up for grabs...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1610
Looking For Group: 239

And my most recent discovery: A Softer World

I do believe that's everything.
Happy April Fools... Go get shit faced.