8 days

...until Christmas.
Oh! Coffee's ready. Yay hot coffee =]
Are you all getting ready for....the upcoming holidays?
I don't know about you, but my family celebrates Christmas. We have people over for brunch and open presents and just have a good time. It's enjoyable. Except last year. I had a total breakdown last year. Bleh.

My darling friend Chris has a new post up, that you should go see:
Dark Panda's Little Dominion. This blog has his art on it.

I'm not 100% sure, but I'm afraid we'll be waving goodbye to Lorastory.

This is the new LFG (yeah, I know, I skipped a ton of them): 314

The picture posted is me, about a year ago. Regardless, this is one of my senior pictures. Opinons?

stuffs and things.

Been a while, huh?

A Softer World

Cardboard Love

(These are my favorites, not the latest ones)

We Heart It

That's all I can think of for now.

How could I know

that everything you say

are lies about

devotion and desire?

Where you are...

Intro: I was recalling something my friend said to me a while back, when I realized: "HOLY SHIT. I haven't been on my blog in forever." Guess what I found here.... Nothing.

Body: And you know what I have to say here? Nothing.

Outro: What did my friend say? "Being special starts with existence."

Now go read a good blog. Cripes.

Obligations

suck.

Hence my not blogging. So much space, so little to say.

New Fall Out Boy song can be heard here.

Scroll down, you'll find it.

No Postsecrets this past Sunday for whatever reason. So don't bother with that.

I'm sure LFG has some new things up but I am way too apathetic to find out what the last one I posted was and post the rest.

If you want Cyanide and Happiness go here. You'll figure it out.

In other news, school and Oblivion have taken over my life, and that in and of itself explains my absence.

I used to be love drunk,

but now I'm hung over.

"I'll love you forever",

forever is over.

We used to kiss all night,

now it's just a bar fight

so don't call me crying.

Say hello to goodbye.

Death to the blogging world.

It kind of feels like blogger died. I haven't had an update since yesterday morning, I believe.

Wakey wakeyyy...

Yes, this post was essentially worthless.

Bill's Back!

(This is a great pyrenees, which has no relation to Bill. But I want one...just an fyi.)

Which is like....holy fucking shit awesome.

Meet Bill.

He's pretty damn cool.

That and a super cute note on FB from the boyfriend pretty much made my morning. Nothing quite like a few sweet surprises and a good cup of coffee.

I would give you links to everything, but I should probably get started on school while I still have some sort of motivation.

Love you all.

She's got a boyfriend,

and I've got a rock band,

guess nothing every really goes the way it's planned.

She's in Ohio,

and I'm on some back road

driving to a city and then, who knows?

'Cause that's all she wrote.

MWAHAHAHAHA

So I was just sending a message to Jonas via twitter when I realized...I'm on my school computer...And I was on twitter. Does anyone else see this connection?

I then decided I would try a round-about way to get on here. And I am a winner. More than likely they will know my plot by tomorrow and block it. D=

At least I get to be clever for one day.

I was in Philly this past weekend for a Women of Faith conference. Meh.

It wasn't as good as last years. Which made me decide that I wasn't going next year. Then I realized that...by this time next year, I'm not even planning on living in this house, maybe not even this state. So it wouldn't exactly matter much. Moving on....

So we had a three hour ride both ways on a bus. Stayed in a hotel Friday night. Most amazing bed I have ever slept on. I guess that figures since it was an expensive hotel. It was the first time I had ever seen a shower head with the hotel logo and motto on it, as well as the brand.

I don't know about everywhere else, but arena's around here have the worst coffee ever. It was incredibly gross. Thank god there was a Starbucks in Allentown, where we stopped for supper. The hotel had moderately good coffee as well.

I wonder if there was a point to this. I don't think there was. I don't think I have any new pictures, but if you see one at the top, you'll know the answer.

'Puter!

Today I received a laptop from my current school...for free. =}

Lots of details I don't want to go into.

What's best is that half of the sites I use aren't blocked. Yayness.

Soooo....

LFG: 280, 281, 282

PostSecret is on Sunday. Be sure to check that out.

Cyanide and Happiness: 1778

This would be a beer. In a glass. With lots of foaminess. Yay!

Let's try this again.

I started a post on Flock...Then I forgot that Blogger makes Flock epic fail.

So I started out with a picture, and that's as far as I got, thank god.

Opera won't let me move the picture. So at the top it shall stay.

LFG: 275, 276, 277, 278, 279

Cyanide & Happiness: 1769

Skillet's new album Awake leaked. If that link doesn't work, lemme know.

Supposedly Lorastory was supposed to kick off again on the 10th. Yeah, I'm still waiting. >.> Rob tells me they're "in the works." It's probably going to be a while.

I think that's all I have for you.

Maryland

Saturday night I took the four hour drive with down to Maryland to visit my Aunt and Uncle. It's been pretty great. Very relaxing. I go back to PA Sunday afternoon.
I hope everything is going well over there.
I suppose there wasn't really a point to this blog. Just saying "Hi".
I guess I'll be posting sometime after I get home.
Sorry for the lack of pictures. Using my Uncle's computer.
Adios.

I don't wanna be afraid,
I don't wanna run away.
I don't wanna be here jaded,
it's more than I can take.
I'm never gonna be the same,
I threw it all away.
I don't wanna be here fadin'
just.let.go.

I Thought You Meant That You Were Falling Apart...

People get so worried about my conditions. Rather, they get worried about me. In reality, my existance is insignificant in "the grand scheme of things." My little speck of a life isn't really important at all, regardless of how many lives I've "changed." What ever happened to reality? Why are we trying to avoid or stop that which is inevitable?

It's a bit scary to know that the person, the only one, who can keep me safe inside is the same person who can break me. What's even worse is that this one person is me. It's strange to know that no matter who you are or what you believe, the "person" who decides the twists & turns of your life can only be one person. Maybe we should just let people believe, think, perceive, etc. what they want, sometimes. Maybe there's a moment in which contradicting them is out of line or just plain stupid. I've always heard there's a time and place for everything.

Good day, void.

Back down, Cash out,

That's the city for you.

Break down and back out,

get what's coming to you.

When you said that you were falling apart,

I thought you mean that you were falling apart.

I have no words.

I can't even think of a title. What am I doing here?

Today:

Some days I want to get totally messed up. Smoke. Drink. Pills. Just completely ruin myself. Pot. Speed. Coke. I can't. Won't. No money. No dealer. No knowledge. Just me. Alone. Movie. Coffee. Bed. Movie. Book. Music. Nothing happens, nothing changes. The world stays gray, everything tastes the same. Nothing changes, nothing matters. And tomorrow will be exactly the same.

Lost, I guess...

Hmmm... Where to begin.

Well, you know that whole Bipolar thing? Well, I'm hitting the depression side of it. Or it's hitting me, I can never tell. I have good days, but they're all having that "the weight of the world on my shoulders" kind of feeling. And lately I've been invigorated and life was full of all this color. And now it's all gone.

The entire point of telling you this is that I'm not entirely sure how much I'll be posting. I guess I don't really have the motivation or desire. Or maybe because school is out, I have no reason to post because I'm not looking for something to do in order to avoid school. That was ridiculously long.

I don't know. I'll see what happens.

I hope you had fun all over Europe, Jonas.

I'll read Pomponne whenever I get back on this silly site.

It's so hard to find help

these days,

when everyone's counting on me

but I'm burnt already.

One more for Jonas.

These little cuties were living under my front porch for a while. I don't know what happened to them, but they're not around anymore.

Links to everywhere:

LFG: 268, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273, 274,

Cyanide and Happiness: 1752

I don't even remember what else I post... ummm....

Lorastory is on hold for a while, so I'll get that going again when I have the chance.

Too lazy to look at Strike Gently.

that's all for now guys.

PostSecret tomorrow. Check it out.

There goes my hero.

Watch him as he goes.

There goes my hero,

he's ordinary.

Nolan Cain: Fama Semper Vivat

This is a copy and paste of various thoughts I've had today. Tuesday I'll probably start posting the links again. It's been hectic.

Maybe we misinterpret words, lyrics, for that matter. “Always love you, never leave you.” I promised you that so many times. But maybe…maybe this separation is me loving you, and maybe I will never leave your heart. You’ll never leave mine. I’ll always love you.

So as Imogen Heap floats past my ears, I make a silent promise to remember you always. To keep your picture on my wall. To recall our memories and good times as often as possible. To never delete our chat logs from my computer.

I promise and hope to god that someday you will come back into my life.

I find the irony that as you disappear from my life, my candle stops burning.

Get better. Don’t let life burn you out. Find happiness.

Perhaps, dear reader, perhaps we read too far into things, or perhaps we don’t read far enough. There’s a touchy balance, and I can’t find it.

I wish upon tonight to see you smile.

I wish grief and death didn’t hurt this much. I wish the loss of a child none of us had ever met didn’t slaughter us so completely.

It hurts to know you’re out there and I can’t help you. It hurts just as much that you can’t help me.

What I wish for the most….is something you may never understand.

Take me home.

Catie's Awake =]

She actually woke up on Friday, I believe. They hadn't expected her to wake up until sometime this week. Things are improving in our relationship. That sounds weird...Anyway.


This is my cat. She is currently driving me absolutely nuts. She's old (that's not why she's irritating), and she's sitting two feet away from me meowing/squeaking at me. My response? "What do you want?!" I'm a terrible pet person.

Lorastory: 12
If I missed a page, or you're just getting here: Lorastory.com
LFG: 266, 267
A day without Richard is like a day without air. Which means I can't breathe Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1726
Appropriate for Independence Day. The movie and American Holiday. No...Just the movie.

Posts may or may not be frequent in the next three weeks, seeing as I'm behind in all of my classes and have to work my ass off.



Bite my lip and close my eyes,
take me away to paradise.
I'm so damn bored, I'm going blind,
and I smell like shit.
I got no motivation.
Where is my motivation?
No time for the motivation.
Smoking my inspiration.

Thursday. Pfft.

This picture was made by my friend Catie, who is currently in the hospital in a coma. They're saying she'll probably wake up today or tomorrow.

Lorastory: 11
LFG: 266
Cyanide and Happiness: 1721

Hmmmm. That's about it.
I'm going to go damage my eyes elsewhere.
Have a good one.

Aggghhhhh

I haven't updated and Jonas has a shitload of new stuff up that I haven't read.

Okay, so
Lorastory: 9, 10
This is coming along really well. I wasn't sure if I had posted 9 yet or not.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1720
LFG: 265
This one sucks, but it's part of the story line.

Uhhh. I think that's it.

Off to read Pomponne!

For the hell of it...

First and foremost:
Lorastory: 9
LFG: 264
Cyanide and Happiness: 1695
I definitely love this one. XD

Phrase of the week:
Plain sailing.
Means "An easy, uncomplicated course."
Perhaps POTW was my worst idea ever. Let me know.

I don't feel like looking at Strike Gently, but you can if you want.

The stilettos I mentioned several posts back. Jonas knows what I'm talking about....Because he's practically the only person who reads this shit. >.>
*strangles nearest civilian*


I looked so strong
when the weight of all the world
don't take its toll.
And I'd choose my side
if I believed in what was right,
but I'm all wrong.

Lorastory.. fucking finally.

Not any actual fucking going on. If only.
Anyway....

Lorastory: 7, 8.
Posted 7 in case anyone (Jonas) forgot the plot. I almost did. God.
Fourteen fucking days of nothing. Pfft.
LFG: 263
Awesometastic.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1694
>.< Oy.

Hmmm... Nothing new to tell really.

It's Thursday again, isn't it?

That alone explains

1. Why I'm wearing my stilettos and skinny jeans
2. Why I called my sister to talk about nothing.
3. Every single terrible and lonely emotion careening through my mind.
4. The temptation to throw my phone into the lake and just walk away from everything.

I could walk to Dan's house. Find out if he's home. I don't exactly hear from him much anymore.
Maybe I just need more coffee.

Maybe I just need someone to fill that chair. So I won't be alone.
Maybe I should just get used to being alone. I don't know.

Cyanide and Happiness: 1690
LFG: 262
Poor Richard. I will always love him.
I guess Rob's still working on Lorastory. My RSS has no new updates from him, and he's not at his computer for the time being. Hopefully he'll have something soon.


I'll follow through the end this time,
swallow swords, spit out my pride.

Independence

Something I severely lack. I depend on people far too much.

No new Lorastory yet.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1689
Cardboard Love



Show me a day in the sun.
Show me the way to blue sky happiness.

A day at work...with no pay.

Probably because I don't work there. My point? Conference room chairs are highly uncomfortable for those of us trying to sleep in them.
Oh, and the reason I was at work with my darling mother all day... god. Not god, but.... weird story. Anyway, yesterday ultimately consisted of a huge breakdown. I almost ruined everything, which probably won't make sense to any of you. This all led up to me going to see my psychiatrist today to talk about potential issues with medication. Long story short, I'm taking a saliva test to find my progesterone levels. Lovely little link to tell you alllll about my uterus issues. Wooo! Basically, I get to spit in a little test tube about five times until it's 3/4 full. Isn't that thrilling? Then I get to mail it to California for $141. Wyoming, California...I think Alaska is probably next. >.>

Onto the things that actually matter....
Lorastory: =[
Keep waiting, I guess.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1668
A Softer World: 445
That...yeah... soml.
Cardboard Love



Another one of the sky when I tried to pull that all-nighter deal. It kind of reminds me of an abyss. A peaceful abyss, perhaps. Wouldn't that be called meditation though?




My words,
they don't come out right.
I'll try to say I'm happy for you.
I think I'm gonna take that drive.
I want to give you something
I've been wanting
to give to you for years:
My heart.

Thank you, Jonas,

Not only for reading my blog,
but also for reminding me how much I want to make out with someone.
This one's for you.

Yesterday:
PostSecret
And I decided I would pull an all-nighter so I could see the sunrise this morning. Yeaaahhh, that didn't happen.
However I did get some interesting pictures from the sunset, which really wasn't that great.


So there's that.
Onward!
Cyanide and Happiness: 1687
LFG: 261

Strike Gently:
Bob Marley Discography
Regina Spektor Leak

I guess that would be all. New Lorastory tomorrow. =]



Comparison's are easily done
once you've had a taste of
perfection.

Graduation Weekend...

For my friends, mind you.
Dan graduates today: Congratulations.
Jake's grad party is today... No idea when he actually graduates.
My grandparents leave Tuesday morning, I guess. Some sweet freedom there.

Saturday's don't really bring much of anything.
Just Cyanide and Happiness: 1682
Quite humorous.

Rob has promised a new Lorastory by Tuesday. I'll beat him if he doesn't put out, pinky swear.

So...I guess that's everything.



The best of us can find happiness
in misery.

I survived Thursday...

By some strange means.


This is a worthless statue of a farmer boy who appears to be lost in our overgrown shrubbery. Poor child. Wait...I think it's a girl...

What's most important is...
Lorastory: ...
Their lives have been pretty hectic lately, so I vouch for that.

Cyanide and Happiness: 1685
o.O
LFG: 260
I love Richard. Forever and always.

Strike Gently has a full leak of Alexisonfire
Twilight's there too, for those fortunate souls who haven't seen the movie yet. Save yourself.


Sweet Tangerine,
will you please come back to me?
'Cause I don't think that
these feelings are gonna leave.

Because this is better than geometric sequences.

No lie.

The picture below is from the barn, yet again. There's some holes in the wall in the lower level. It makes for some nice pictures. Destruction and life, if you will. Anywho.


Does anything really happen on Tuesday's? No, not really. No LFG, no good shows (that I'm aware of), etc. Shed any light on the situation?
Thankfully, Cyanide and Happiness never fails us: 1681

Strike Gently has a total Incubus leak. YAY! Otherwise it's just a bunch of YouTube shit. Bleh.
OHOHOH! While I'm thinking about music. I'm loving Smashing Pumpkins more and more. Honestly, I don't know what I've been doing with my life to have just discovered their awesomeness. Oh, and Blue October is my new musical therapy.

Lorastory News. (I'm posting this specifically for you, Jonas)

If you get a minute, check out Nancy's Tumblr.
It's not boring, I promise.

Today I found this super awesome site that tells how to deal with suicidal friends and whatnot. Check it out. Suicide is a big deal, and at this point I'm pretty sure you know how I feel about it. There are more links on the bottom of the page about how to handle various situations.

All right, I think that's everything I stumbled across today.
Gotta finish this coffee and finish this math bullshit. Ewie.


I try to give you everything,
and if I fail, well then I fail,
but at least I gave you something.
It's better than silence.

The usual Monday...

Yesterday was PostSecret, obviously.
LFG: 259
I particularly like this one.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1680
Lorastory: 7
I'm loving it more and more.

Strike Gently has movie leaks such as The Hangover, The Price Of Pleasure, Land Of The Lost, and Into The Blue.
And that new movie Robert Pattinson's in? Yeah, the soundtrack leaked, so that's in there somewhere. Just look for Patty face with a guitar and harmonica (to which I say wtf?!).



This picture is from the barn (no, we do not have cows and/or other farm animals). My dad has a ton of records in the loft, and this is the "record wall", by the stairs that lead up to the wall. I quite like it. What do I know.

Anywho. I eagerly await my grandparents departure for the summer. About a week or so. Then I get to walk the dog for $10 a week. Meh, take what I can get. Happy Monday my dear Disciples.



I beg to dream and differ from the hallow lies
this is the timing of the rest of our lives.
This is our lives on Holiday!

Short and Bittersweet

How is it that renouncing my faith can make me lose friends?
Am I of a lesser value now?
I don't understand.
it hurts.





I'm tired of being
what you want me to be.
Feeling so faithless,
lost under the surface.

Remember how much I dislike Thursdays?

Well today is no different.
Except Dan isn't coming over today. Sad story.

On the bright side...
LFG: 258
Totally a Lion King spoof. XD I love Richard.
Lorastory: 6
YAYAYAYAYYY =] I love watching the numbers grow.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1676
Cardboard Love
A Softer World: 442
Touche.


I feel incredibly delusional today. Could make for some fun stories.

Picture: This one is from the pond down the road from my house. The trees there have been dead for as long as I can remember, but the pond wouldn't be the same without them.

I'm so screweddd.

Okay, I'm posting this about... 2 hours before my dad will be getting home. Which leaves me two hours to complete two Apologetics assignments, and as easy as that sounds, it's hard as fuck.
Wish me luck
The entire point of this blog?

Lorastory: 5
YAAAAAYYY!

Anyway...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1675
LFG isn't out until tomorrow.

Picture for today is not Boston or Cape Cod related, it's actually my front porch.
If you've ever watched How I Met Your Mother, you probably understand the importance of the porch.






I know I'll never trust a single thing you say
You knew your lies would divide us
But you lied anyway
And all the lies have got you floating
Up above us all
But what goes up has got to fall

Hoopsies.

Morning followers.

Lorastory: 3, 4
Things are just getting started, but it is still amazing.
Happy Anniversary to Rob and Colleen, by the way, because I know Rob secretly stalks my blog. They've been happily married and having great sex for about... three years now? I can't remember.
Anywho,
Cyanide and Happiness: 1674
XD They have plushies. yay!

LFG: 257
A Softer World: 441
Cardboard Love
I wonder how much cardboard he goes through...

What picture shall I give you today... Hmmm....

Cape Cod picture again.
Was awake about 6:30 in the morning...I was outside... eating breakfast.... all of which I never do. Makes for a strange vacation.

Now if you'll excuse, I have medication that needs popping.

Sit vis vobiscum.
(May the Force be with you)

Weekends are for the Warriors.

Rob is stalking me and found my blog. Creeper.

According to my RSS feeds, nothing amazing is happening or been updated.
Do you know what that means?
It means I'm linking you to A Softer World

ASW: 440
Cyanide and Happiness: 1670

Watch old recordings or watch Rob live today at 1-2PM EST. That link gives both options. Rob is pretty amusing. If you wanna kill time as badly as I do, that's the place to go.

I have to ask, why am I learning about musical terms in English class? I will never understand this goddamn class.

I was thinking about making another blog for the pictures I take periodically. Just an idea. Feedback?



This picture is from Cape Cod when we were walking to the canal. English Muse inspired me to take this picture.



You promised me that you were true,
she's just better than you.

I like hugs.

It's Thursday. Do you know what that means?
Well, it generally means that I had a suck ass day. I don't really like Thursdays.

Lorastory: 2
Cyanide and Happiness: 1669
LFG: 256

As far as I can tell, there's nothing good on Strike Gently. Check it out if you want though.

Onto the ray of sunshine:


Remember Dan, from yesterday? Dan was my sunshine today.
He rode his quad over so we could hang out for a little over ten minutes. It sounds like a waste of gas (1/8 of a tank one way), which it may have been, but I haven't seen the dude since October, I believe. Anyway, it was good to see him. He gives better hugs than I remember.
That picture is the Boston picture, by the way. Actually, it's from Lenox, Massachusetts, but let's not get technical.

Much love, my followers.



I shed my coat with caution,
I lack the beauty you display.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

Lives in my shower. Or bathroom, as it may be.
I've made a deal with said spider that if she stays away from my head, I won't kill her. Then I decided I should name her. Charlotte? No, too classic. Suggestions?

Lately I've noticed that one of my favorite bloggers, Bill, has suddenly disappeared. Where are you Bill?

Cape Cod picture:



OH! I found out an old friend of mine has an account on WritersCafe.org
Meet Dan
He's got some poems, and potential poems up. Check 'em out.

Onto more normal things...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1668

Rob will be recording Lorastory in the making live today at 1PM EST. Actually, he does this everyday, I just forget to mention it. Feel free to drop by.

I think that's it.


She turns her back on
the city she once called home
the yard where she ran through snow...

Why am I awake?

I think during the past week, I've spent more time sleeping than I have being awake and doing productive things. Not that I'm a very productive person.... I really am a lazy fuck.

Did I post on Sunday? Shit. I didn't. Okay.
PostSecret
Cyanide and Happiness: 1667
LFG: 255
God I love Richard.

So, according to the new boyfriend (did I mention I got one of those?), and this other kid I dated once, I have this quality about me -which they can't describe or pinpoint- that makes them not "want anyone else". Now, could someone tell what the fuck that's about? Does everyone have this "quality", or am I as magical as I pretend to be? Seriously. Either they just want to get laid, or I'm fucking awesome. Help meeeeeee.
Also, my brother-in-law, the artsy one (AKA: Rob) says I should come to one of their "guys night" things. How do I interpret this? Ironically enough, he tells me this the night I buy the stilettos. Anyway, I asked him "What, am I one of the guys now?" and his response "Yeah, basically." Ummmmm... It reminds me of Katy Perry's song One Of The Boys.
I should probably link to that... Too lazy.

So it's Tuesday, and I've already managed to sleep, which I will resume doing in a matter of hours, and accomplish nothing. Off to a great start this week.



Another Boston picture. Cape Cod, technically. I doubt that really matters though.

I'm ridiculous. It's great.

So... Yesterday -which was Friday- I went shopping. I bought stilettos. They make me just short of six feet. They're four inch heels. So I don't actually need them to be tall, but I figure I have the body to throw on heels and live in an imaginary world where I'm a model and I do whatever the fuck I want. So I bought them.
And people are all "Why? You're already way too tall." I say fuck 'em. Long story short, I've been stumbling around the house all day with four inch heels. I can't decide if I regret it or not.

A friend of mine is in the hospital, partially my fault. But let's not go there.

Ummm...
New Lorastory page up: 1
Cyanide and Happiness: 1664

scatter-brained

I know, lots of posts today. I can't help it. So much to say.

To Write Love On Her Arms is now on Twitter. Feel free to follow.

Just throwing it out there.

Rob's working on a new comic.
You can watch him draw the strips live here.
You can wait for the strips to show up on the Lorastory site here.

It's looking pretty awesome so far. The actual site only has the cover up so far. That's why you should watch him draw it. I'm trying to convince him that he neeeeds me to cohost.

This is stupid.

Last night my friend decided to not sleep... and I offered to stay up with her. I went to bed at two (pathetic, i know, I haven't stayed up late in a long time). I got up at 7:30. What the fuck is that? I hate my body.
Then Flock shut down completely. Stupid technology. I don't like today.
And last night I wound up talking to this dude I once dated and he's like "you know, I really miss you. do you think someday we could get back together?" I'm thinking "shhhhiiiiiitttttt."
That was my adventure.

Thursdays can only mean three things:
Cyanide and Happiness: 1663
LFG: 254
LFG is all serious and shit. I hate it when it's serious. I want Richard back. I love Richard. =p
Lastly, it means I have counseling tonight. Awesome.



I love Free Hugs. It was probably my favorite part of Saturday.
Much love.




Medically speaking: you're adorable,
from what I hear, you're quite affordable.

Is there anything good about Wednesday?

Not really.


Cyanide and Happiness: 1662

This is Louie and me. Best dog ever.

The one before that is just some tall buildings caught in the descending fog. smog? Who knows.
Have I mentioned that I love Boston?
'Cause I do.

So...that's it for today.
I think my posts are getting worse and worse.
Bah.

Much love.


You're crazy and I'm crazy about you.

Boston is the shit

I went to Boston this weekend. Did I tell you I was going? o.O
Well I did. and I came to the conclusion that Boston is absolutely amazing. I love it.
I brought you pictures, don't worry.

Yesterday, PostSecret day, I got home around 6:30 or 7.

LFG: 252, 253
Cyanide and Happiness: 1660
Major pedo-ness.

So that's basically it. Here's a picture:


More to come later in the week.
Or just hit up my Flickr.
Not all of them are up yet. I'm working on it.

Also, How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory are on tonight. 8-9 PM EST.
Don't miss it.




Love is the movement,
Love is a revolution.

I'm going under.

Monday.
The Big Bang Theory...now. Which is 8 PM EST, btw.
How I Met Your Mother.... 8:30 EST

Also,
Looking For Group: 251
Cyanide and Happiness: 1652
Pretty much sucks all across.

I can't think of anything else. Not that it really matters.


Oh, I leave for Boston on Thursday. If I get any fascinating whatnot's, you'll be the last to know.

Let's hope I can deal with myself long enough to post again.
Here's to severe depression.

Success...

Happy Mothers Day after all my....followers. Hah. I feel like Jesus.

Anyway.
I'm only posting because I'm bored and there's no church tonight, and therefore I'm allowed online. Twisted? Very. But I'll take what I can get.

POSTSECRETTTTT. Rules my world.

I should probably post something about mothers, huh? Oh well.

Cyanide and Happiness: 1651

Hmmm...
Tonight is Law & Order: Criminal Intent with the new dude whose name I can't currently remember. But it looks like a good episode. I love this guy.
After that...Or before? Somewhere in there... In Plain Sight. Mediocre show, in my opinion.

So what did you do for Mothers Day?

I can't think of any snazzy lyrics,
so ..... sorry.

Conniving...

Such a fun word.

In fact, conniving is a word I tend to use to describe myself. That's beside the point.

So, last night didn't happen. Jake didn't have money. His friend didn't want to drive. Pfft.
Instead, while my parents are out buying things from yard sales that we have no need for, he's coming over (eventually >.>). Imagine the rest.
Dad's calling me when they start heading home, because I'm surprising mom by cleaning the house for mothers day. Wish me luck.

In short, if all goes accordingly, it will all be more experience under my belt.
Does that phrase even make sense?


Now, my lovelies....
Cyanide and Happiness: 1650
Interesting...

Ummm...
I probably won't be posting tomorrow,
so here's the PostSecret link. It updates around midnight. So...

Happy Mothers Day....early.
much love.


Counting down,
make that sound
and you know it makes no sense.
Counting down,
till you mess around,
and I know you can't ever change.

I just needed you to pick me up...

Okay, so I have seven minutes to cram ....make that six.... all this shit in here. Ready?

LFG was yesterday: 250
(sorry about not updating, not that you're paying attention. Btw, Bill, if you're still alive out there, I miss you. Come back.)
Cyanide and Happiness: 1649
(This is probably just something you should RSS, because I'm a lazy bitch. Also stupid, according to my ex, but long story there.)

What are your plans this weekend?

Tonight I'm going out with my friend with benefits, Jake, and his friends. Jake is the reason I'm recently single. But it's okay. He's all I've got left in this town.
Saturday, school shit. fml.
Sunday, church. death.

All right, so, I think that's about it.

Oh, wait, Rob's not doing Raisin' Cain comics anymore, the loss of Chris kind of ruined everything, so the whole thing is just down the shitter now.


I just needed you to pick me up,
Like you did when we were younger:
When the lightning and the thunder
had me clinging to your heart.
For someone to pick me up
when I'm down,
when I'm forgotten...

In case you're wondering....

I'm still somehow alive.
Blogs have been getting sketchy, I know. I'm just a lazy fuck.

So today, I wake up to hear that one of our pipes broke (which turned out to be a lie in the end), which means I haven't showered yet. It also means that there have been two to three men (all of which I know) tearing about my porch. Turns out there was just a decently large salamander caught in one of our pipes, whose body my dad removed. Of course, they realize this after they rip up half of the panels on our porch. Good job guys. So now they're hammering it back down, which makes it even harder to work.

It also turns out that I'm banging my best friend. Which is convenient, because neither of us have a conscience and I see the kid all the time. Dirty Little Secret.

You know what Monday means, right?
LFG: 249
Kinda lame, but I guess it goes with the plot. wtfe.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1646
Kinda weird, but okay.
It also means The Big Bang Theory is on at 8 PM EST, and How I Met Your Mother directly after at 8:30 EST.
Be there or be a turd.

Check out Strike Gently if you want, I'm too lazy to see what's there. It looks as if Green Day is going on tour though. Not that I can afford to go to a goddamn concert.

I almost think I had something worth while to say, but god knows I always forget it.
I think I might go crash soon. These medications are beating me down.
Happy Monday.



I've got a fever for you
and all the crazy shit you do...

Hoopes...

Sadness on the laziness. Longggg story for that one.

First of all...
LFG: 247, 248
Cyanide and Happiness: 1642
That one is hilarious, might I add.

I'm off to go bowling with a friend!
more later.
love to the kiddies.



He'll always know that
that it's meant to be,
'cause she's the only girl
that he will ever need.

I'm an agent of Chaos

I realized today that I love chaos. The chaos of life. The jumbled disorganization of a messy desk, the contents of your pockets at the end of the day. Anything.
I don't know. Just something about it catches my eye.

Yes, I know, I'm strange.

Saturday...mmph.

LFG, for those of you who care: 246
Cyanide and Happiness: 1636
Strike Gently has a Straylight Run discography, as well as tour dates.
Music Is What We Aim For has The Audition's Self-Titled Album, which officially releases in two days.

That's everything fun and exciting, as far as I know.
I'm going to go kill another Saturday. Leave it to me.


I'd swear we were born to let you down,
We scream but never make a sound.

What you really wanted to see...

Cyanide and Happiness: 1632
Strike Gently has nothing.
Looking For Group doesn't update until tomorrow. The link is for any of you who still have no fucking clue what LFG is, or those of you who haven't been to my chaotic blog before. 'Cause...
I'm an agent of Chaos.
Mmph.

OH! I never told you...
I got a Twitter. And a Tumblr.
Why? Not a fucking clue. But if you're ever visiting, hit me up kids.

I officially have four followers now. That's about... four more than I ever planned on having. Go figure.

On the more serious side, Rob has a new post up, so check it out...
Cain's Dogma
This is actually something that's really important to Rob and myself (the topic, that is): Homosexuality and what the Bible says about it.
Mind you, I'm a little sketchy on the religious aspect of my life right now, but I didn't join Characters Unite for nothing. Equality, kids; equality.

So, that's everything for the rest of today.
I'm off to play some RO.
If you're on the free server, hit me up:
Prosperina


Take a step back, baby,
take a deep breath.
You're about to say
something that you'll regret.
For once in your life
try to think it through.

I never thought

I would see the day when I actually found something interesting in American History. It would be a Wednesday.
Today I'm devoting myself to my History class (potential death), and this particular lesson pertains to Modernism and the 1920's.
Flappers.
So being my simply amused self, I meandered over to Ask for some pictures of these lovely ladies.

Somehow the fact that these drawings portray these women to have a rectangular shape doesn't bother me...yet.



I understand that this was a big step in getting where we are in fashion today, but I fail to see how this particular clothing is provocative. But I'm a naive High School kid, what do I know?


Somehow this last one reminds me of Drew Barrymore. I don't understand it either.

The good stuff comes later...
When I'm not educating myself.

Here we go...

I just wanted
to share this picture
by Blasius Erlinger
With you.

I'm alive, pinky swear.

For those of you who recall from last week, Sunday means PostSecret.

Monday means The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother.
It also means LFG: 244 (I don't know if I posted this one yet), 245.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1629

I guess that's it. I should reeeally get some work done.

Adios!


When everything you've ever loved has left you,
I'll be there, I'll be there for you.

So far, So good.

I'm doing better. =] Yay!

New Leak Site: Music Is What We Aim For v2

Cyanide and Happiness: 1624

I guess that's about it...




Sometimes I feel like
I'm still dreaming.
Seems like every day
you're always on my mind.
This is how we stay
so connected, so connected
over space and time.

Okayish....

I wonder what the weather is up to. My wrist hurts, and that generally means something.
Today seems a little better. I officially broke down and sobbed my little heart out yesterday, so I think I'm okay now.
Maybe I'll actually accomplish something today.

I can't remember what else I was going to write about. >.<
Definitely have racing thoughts today.

Cyanide and Happiness (good one today.): 1621
Looking For Group (kickass): 243

That's it. Sad day.



You said there's tons of fish in the water,
so the waters I will test.

If I could tell you how unstable I feel right now...

Happy Easter, I guess.
Today isn't really a good day for me. Not only was I left with 4 hours of sleep last night, I'm also PMSing (valuable information) and rapid cycling, and despite what Wikipedia says, my psychiatrist says it can shift, or cycle, much more frequently. Please kill me.
I'm actually afraid that all of these hormones and mood swings are going to shove me over the edge, to the degree of being suicidal. What to do...
I just woke up from a three hour nap, so hopefully the extra sleep will help. And mom will be keeping a close eye on me, I'm sure.

Today is PostSecret day.
Cyanide and Happiness: 1622
Cain's Dogma: Calvariae Locus

I think that's everything. I hope your Easter is far better than mine.


I can't go on,
deflate the air from both of my lungs.
I'll be gone,
long before daylight shows its face.
It's old and worn,
and its mouth smiles no more.
Well, I'm worth my weight in potting soil,
maybe I tried to hard to care.

Welcome to Saturday...

I have decided today to do absolutely nothing. Shweet.
I'll probably sit around and mess with Bloodlines on Facebook, and peruse a few blogs, maybe watch some MASH. The possibilities are endless. My parents are going out tonight, which leaves me accountable to myself.

But enough about me. What are you doing today? How are you, really?

Cyanide and Happiness: 1619
It pains me to say that that is basically the only good thing online today. Pfft.

Have a good one.


I used to be your all the time,
but now I'm sleeping through the days.
My friends try to cheer me up,
they say I'm going through a faze,
I hope they're right.
I can't stand these days of nights.

And I won't live another day
if I'm not waking up next to you.
And I can't seem to find a way
to wake up without you,
without you.

Tales of a Friday Adventure...

Today I had the pleasure of meeting my new psychiatrist, Dr. Mata. She's a kind, older woman with a cluttered but quaint little office. It was quaint to the degree of me almost whipping out my phone and taking some pictures, but I didn't know that she would appreciate that.
In short, she decided that I have a hyperactive thyroid or something, and that I am bipolar. All in all, until my thyroid starts doing what it needs to and I start sleeping like I should, nothing is really going to level out the bipolar.
I have to do this test, which means get to pee in a cup, put some in a tube, freeze it, and send it to Wisconsin for about $182. It seems a little bit ridiculous, but whatever. I think that's supposed to test for whether or not I actually have ADD, which we currently doubt.
And then I get to take this medication for my thyroid. Woo.

That was thrilling and all, but let's move on.


Cyanide and Happiness: 1620
A Softer World: 424
Strike Gently has a Mewithoutyou discography as well as a The Format discography, and the latest episode of The Office, and 30 Rock.


The concrete calls my name again.
I'm falling;
through the cracks, I slip.

It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Thursday is a terrible day. It means tomorrow is Friday. I don't like Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. My parents will be home all weekend. Save me. And they took tomorrow off. God only knows why. Generally Thursdays also mean I get to go to counseling. Not that therapy is helping me any, but it makes my parents and doctors feel better. So what the hell, why not.
No counseling tonight.
I've been sitting here trying to do the same assignment for about two hours now. Something tells me today is not going to be successful.

OHOHOHOH! There's a new episode of Fringe out. I'm obsessed. You don't even know.

Lets meander on, shall we?
Cyanide and Happiness: 1618
Looking For Group (this one is really fucking boring. Fail): 242
Strike Gently has a The Academy Is... discography.

And I think that's all I've got for today.



I found out what I've been missing,
You are enough to keep me
Wondering through nights that I've spent
Alone, alone.

Ohhh, What To Do.

I should probably go work on my school shit. The down side of being home schooled is that there is never an escape. Work just becomes this big black shadow that follows you around all night. Public/Private school always had an escape. Go home, leave it all at school, problem solved. Nuh uh; not anymore.
Not to mention that my parents are far enough up my ass about catching up that I should probably mail them a map just so they can make it out alive.

On a happier note...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1617
A Softer World: 423

That is, unfortunately, all I have for now. Except this picture:




That's when she said
"I don't hate you boy,
I just wanna save you
while there's still something left to save."

I miss my munchkin....

Have I ever told you that I have a nephew? His name is Bobby, and he is three months old. He's adorable.
See?


Cyanide and Happiness: 1616
Strike Gently has Jimmy Eat World's Clarity Live album up, thank god.

I'm pretty sure that's everything.

I fall asleep with my friends around me,
the only place I know I feel safe.
I'm gonna call this "home".

Monday is the best day of my life...

Here's the special stuff for Mondaysss...
8-8:30 PM EST: The Big Bang Theory. Don't roll your eyes and disregard this. It's one of the most hilarious shows in the history of ever.
8:30-9 PM EST: How I Met Your Mother. If you haven't heard of this, you need to watch it and live happily ever after.

Onto the usual...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1615
Looking For Group: 241
A Softer World: 422

That's everything.

So here's my good bye,
no one will cry over me;
I'm not worth any tears.

It's Sunday, and that can only mean one thing...

PostSecret, of course. =]

There are three reasons I get out of bed on a Sunday:

1. I have to pee.
2. my parents force me into the car so we can go to church.
3. PostSecret

Today I got up because my parents left, and I get to do whatever I please.
First of all, I would like to address the new donut at DD. It's berries & cream or something. Basically, it's a Boston Creme donut with this weird pink berry stuff on top. Don't waste your money.

And yesterday I took some pictures down in town. Some of the buildings look particularly ancient, and they made a decent picture. So...



















This brings me to my final question:
Have cigarettes always been ridiculously expensive?


Oh, and happy (maybe) Palm Sunday.

Jiverly Wong

Jiverly Wong was the shooter in Binghamton yesterday. He was 42 years old.
I hope you finally find peace, Jiverly. RIP.
My condolences to the families of victims as well. RIP.

Anyway...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1613
The latest strip from A Softer World.
An update on Raisin' Cain.

I think that's everything for right now...


Maybe what we think is most important in life, is not really important at all.

All Dressed Up, And Nowhere To Go....

So I hear it's Friday. My parents are going out, my friends probably have great plans. Me? I'm not doing jack.

Okay, so, here's what I have for your pickings...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1612
Looking For Group: 240

Being a teen, weekend plans are relatively important, no? Generally, the only time to have a relaxing weekend and look good about it is after a drama filled week or having many busy weekends before and after. I have no such luck. Upon attempting to liven things up a bit with suggestions from Wikihow (the instructor of my life), I found... nothing. Except How To Enjoy A Relaxing Weekend. Which doesn't really apply. Hope it helps someone else out.

Which leads me to the list.
This is my attempt at making it look as though you're doing something on the weekends, when you're not. Call me deceptive.
Do some hardcore school/work work (that was repetitive), because that means less work later...sometimes.

• Clean the house like a maniac.
• Pamper.
• Read.

• Write. Doodle. Something.

The entire point of this list is to provide something for one to amuse oneself with, and kill some time. At least pretend to enjoy the monotony.
And if all else fails, blog about it. Because it's fun to think some stranger actually gives a shit. Woo!

On an entirely different, and particularly depressing note: a man walked into the American Civic Association in Binghamton, NY (I assume a few miles from a school I previously attended) with a gun. He killed 13 people, including himself. I also found out that someone in my school district had talked about bringing a gun to school and killing people. Mind you, I am home schooled, so this isn't quite as nerve wracking for me as it would be if I were actually attending the school. But anyway, my first reaction to things like this are this subtle urge to burst into tears for the shooters. Yeah, I know, right? It's weird. But in some way, I think I relate to them...more than I would like to. I'm relatively certain this is just one more reason I want to major in Psychology: I get people. I've been there. I've wanted to do crazy things on impulse, which would have ended terribly for myself and the people surrounding me.
I realize that there are dead people who were Innocent and all, but I literally ache when I think about the shooters. I guess someone has to care about the bad guys, right?

What are we coming to?

Once again, I want to mention an organization I've fallen madly in love with: To Write Love On Her Arms.
There's a big story that I've got linked from another post, and no one reads this anyway, so I won't throw it out there again. I bring to your attention, dear void, that there's a lot of pain in this ridiculous world. I could go on forever. I think the reason I hurt for the shooters, bad dudes, etc., is because there's a degree of pain visible. And I've experienced and seen that pain before.

If you or anyone you know is talking/thinking about suicide, please call immediately:
1800-SUICIDE (toll free)
OR
1800-TALK
If you or someone you know deals with self-injury, please call:
1800-DONTCUT

Good luck out there.

My Kingdom For A Remedy...

Within the past 48 hours, I have been struck by the common cold. Kill me now. This leads me to wonder why a cure has not been found. People get colds all the time, and we still can't do jack about it. Go figure.
So, upon diagnosing myself with a sore throat, I began my search for a remedy. Here's what I came across...
How To Make A Simple Remedy For Sore Throat
Which didn't work for me at all.
Neither did gargling salt water.
Throat/Cough drops seem pretty useless too.
Oh, and drinking straight up lime/lemon juice is such an atrocious idea. I don't suggest it. Because if anything, it just made me want to vomit.

Here's the part where I throw together my own remedy, using what I've found most effective and easy to obtain.

• Sleep
• Mint tea with honey (amongst other warm beverages)
• Avoid cold beverages
• A 24 hour cold/allergy pill.
• Tylenol (makes life a little more bearable and helps with any fever)
• Tissues
• Lots of people to complain to.
• Chicken Noodle soup...

See, I tried other soups because I greatly dislike canned chicken noodle soup and I lack the stamina to make home made chicken noodle soup. I wound up trying Veggie Beef soup...Which was a mistake. Muy painful. But today I determined that if one is sick enough, canned chicken noodle soup tastes fine.

Moving on...
Strike Gently has a Creed discography up for grabs...
Cyanide and Happiness: 1610
Looking For Group: 239

And my most recent discovery: A Softer World

I do believe that's everything.
Happy April Fools... Go get shit faced.

It's been ten days.... Promo.

So much to say, so little motivation.

First and foremost, Rob has a new blog called Cain's Dogma. Check that out if you're in the mood for something to think about.
I see nothing exciting on Strike Gently, but there are some tour dates listed for The Morning Light and Owl City, if you're interested.
Cyanide and Happiness for today: 1605.
Looking For Group (all the ones I missed): 235, 236, 237, 238. There.
Wikipedia article: How To Make A Duct Tape Pencil Case.

I think that's everything for now.